AL GREEN—GREATEST HITS
(Capitol, 1975)
Ever notice how dopey everybody gets when the wedding DJ throws on “Let’s Stay Together”? As soon as the horns hit, the bridesmaids are corralling their dates, the best man is lip-synching like a maniac, the bride’s parents are dirty dancing and the newlyweds are thinking, “Hey, maybe this wasn’t such a rotten idea after all.” This is generally when someone should shout, “Get a hotel”—to which everybody should respond, “Got one” and get to it.
Money track: “Let’s Stay Together”
Recommended for: Sorry-we-just-argued-about-the-cutlery-let’s-make-up-big-time sex

ISAAC HAYES—HOT BUTTERED SOUL
(Stax, 1969)
In a showdown of the love gods, Black Moses would KO Barry White hands down. That’s the power of Hot Buttered Soul: It transcends the self-parody of South Park and the kitsch of Shaft and remains a funky, sweaty, sticky, haven’t-showered-since-the-Monday-before-Monday classic. Throw on his swaggering 12-minute rendition of “Walk on By” and tell your respective offices that you’ll be taking sick days for, oh, at least the next week.
Money track: “Hyperbolicsyllabicsesquedalymistic”
Recommended for: All-day-roll-in-the-hay-baby-honey-I’ll-do-whatever-you-say sex

MASSIVE ATTACK—PROTECTION
(Virgin, 1994)
Massive Attack takes hip hop, R&B and dub, and whips them into a pleasantly narcotic haze that you’ve probably heard at Starbucks. Never mind. The guest vocalists—including Tricky, Tracey Thorn of Everything But the Girl, and reggae legend Horace Andy—fit the songs like a, um, glove and the real seduction is in the lyrics: “I stand in front of you / I’ll take the force of the blow / Protection.”
Money track: “Protection”
Recommended for: Self-sacrifice-is-hotter-than-champagne-and-rose-petals sex

DUSTY SPRINGFIELD—DUSTY IN MEMPHIS
(Rhino, 1969)
Recorded with Aretha Franklin’s production team, Dusty in Memphis is the greatest soul album ever by a white British pop diva. Sounds like faint praise, but consider this: Dusty could take a goofy couplet like “Just a little lovin’, early in the mornin’ / Beats a cup of coffee for starting off the day,” wrap it in her impossibly heartbreaking voice and turn it into the most voluptuous thing you’ve ever heard.
Money track: “Son of a Preacher Man”
Recommended for: Just-a-little-lovin’-early-in-the-morning-beats-a-cup-of-coffee sex

COLDPLAY—A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD
(Capitol, 2002)
Nobody hates Coldplay. It’s an empirical fact. You either love them—for all their Radiohead Lite, Gwyneth-doting foibles —or you don’t mind them. Which makes Rush of Blood the booty-jam equivalent of a no-brainer: At best, you’re luxuriating in Chris Martin’s sweet nothings. At worst, it muffles your dirty talk while your neighbours think, “What a nice couple, they enjoy Coldplay, too.”
Money track: “The Scientist”
Recommended for: We-love-Coldplay sex

PRETTY IN PINK:
ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK
(A&M, 1986)
The pivotal scene is when Andrew McCarthy chases down Molly Ringwald at the prom and says, “I believed in you—always believed in you. I just didn’t believe in me.” But the most romantic scene belongs to Jon Cryer—“Duckie” (duh)—minutes later: “If you don’t go to him now, I’m never going to take you to another prom ever again, you hear me? I mean, this is an incredibly romantic moment and you’re ruining it for me.” End of discussion. Let’s make out to some Psychedelic Furs.
Money track: OMD’s “If You Leave”
Recommended for: Post-high-school-reunion-let’s-make-this-feeling-last-longer-than-12th-grade-algebra sex

THE STROKES—IS THIS IT
(RCA, 2001)
The Strokes’ tight pop nuggets are not only way catchy, but frontman Julian Casablancas’ mumbles are just shambolic and scruffy enough to feel a little faux-dangereux. Plus you can’t beat the raunchy eighth-grade double entendre of their name.
Money track: “Last Nite”
Recommended for: Let’s-pretend-we-just-met-at-the-dive-bar sex

SADE—THE BEST OF SADE
(Sony, 1994)
Sade could make a state of the union address sound like the Kama Sutra. Choose her greatest-hits collection: This way you don’t have to pick “No Ordinary Love” at the expense of “Your Love is King.” Or the “The Sweetest Taboo.” Or “Love is Stronger Than Pride.” Or “Smooth Operator”…
Money track: All of them
Recommended for: Sensitive-Sunday-mornings-in-the-unmade-sheets sex

IBRAHIM FERRER—BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB PRESENTS IBRAHIM FERRER
(Nonesuch, 1999)
Playful and sexy in the way only a 77-year-old Latin crooner can pull off. For a second, you doubt your ears and think maybe it’s because he’s singing in Spanish, but he’s saying exactly what you think: “Was it your eyes, or your mouth? Your lips or your voice? Maybe it was the impatience of waiting so long for you. More, I can’t say, I can’t say how it was nor can I explain what happened but I fell in love with you.” Hot.
Money track: “Aquellos Ojos Verdes”
Recommended for: Always-trust-the-old-Latin-lover sex