IMing gets a bad rap for lacking the context and insight found in a “real” conversation. Without tone of voice and facial expressions, text can trigger miscommunications and resulting arguments. But when used properly, says relationship counsellor Shona Robertson, it’s a great tool for couples. Here are her three key rules to follow:

1. REVIEW BEFORE SENDING
In person, conversation flows in real time and can be talked over. On your computer, communication takes place in sequence, giving both sides the chance to express their thoughts sans interruption. But rather than pressing “send” immediately, review your message first. “Taking a moment to add or remove personality with emoticons, as well as examining your choice of words and tone of conversation, is helpful to avoid getting your lines crossed,” says Robertson. “Taking five before answering a message allows you to send the message you intend to send. Typing a thoughtful answer ensures clarity on what’s said versus what you mean to say versus how it’s taken.”

2. BE SELECTIVE 
Hot button issues between you should be met with dialogue before you agree to meet online to work them out.

3. USE IT OFTEN 
IMing is great for when one or both partners are isolated in a home office or travelling. “The more comfortable couples are at using this form of chatting, the more likely they are to be silly and carefree with their emotions,” says Robertson. “Whispering sweet nothings or hashing out conflict gives them a chance to review and reread their words.”