For a growing number of people, the net has become less of a resource and more of an addiction. Diane Wieland, a psychiatric nurse and university professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia, first encountered internet addiction disorder (IAD)—a clinical term for compulsive, pathological internet use—four years ago during a visit from a female patient. Presenting a tale of betrayal and deceit, the patient’s marriage was in shambles due to her husband’s addiction to surfing the web and his interactions with an online mistress. “He was involved with a person on the internet—someone he had never even met in real life,” says Wieland, who has since become an expert on IAD. “He was clearly obsessed and concealing his use of the internet to his wife—and everyone else. He lost his job and was in debt because he subscribed to all of these websites. It was basically destroying his entire life.” Eventually, he left his wife and moved across the continent to be with the other woman.

Wieland says that IAD behaviours such as cyber-affairs can endanger an otherwise-healthy relationship. “I know a number of patients that got divorced because the problems became so out of hand,” she says. IAD can feature many of the same warning signs as other compulsive behaviours, says Wieland, such as denial, paranoia, dishonesty and deception. Among her findings are that five to 10 percent of net users suffer from IAD and that men and women differ greatly in their online motives: Men tend to use it as a tool for finding info, playing games and engaging in cyber-sex, porn and other sexually charged activities; women use it for stability and friendship, with chat rooms and message boards holding the greatest appeal. Her research also suggests that if you’re spending more than 10 hours online each day, you’re an IAD candidate.

While treatment for IAD depends on the patient, Wieland recommends group or individual counselling and core lifestyle changes, such as cancelling your home (and work) internet service and even disposing of your computer.

If you think you or your partner may have internet addiction disorder, the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery in Bradford, Pa, offers free online tests at netaddiction.com, including tests dedicated to cyber-sex, cyber-affairs, online gambling and online gaming.