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What’s Your Beef?
A recent Environics Research/Goodyear Canada study shows our personal pet peeves with other drivers put each of us in one of five driver tribes. See where you fit in.
By Beth Maher
Artwork by Red Lynx/iStockphoto
- The Panic Buttons (24 percent of drivers)
Habitat: Passing lane doing 100 kilometres an hour. Prey: Lane weavers, road ragers and that guy in the pickup truck carrying 17 two-by-fours secured with a solitary piece of twine. Call of the wild: “Look at this one here: Weaving through the lanes like some kind of maniac. See, this is why I don’t like driving on the highway. I need to get off. Where’s the next exit? Oh God. I can’t get over. Oh God. Oh God.” - The Mind Your Manners (20 percent)
Habitat: Grocery store parking lot. Prey: Tailgaters, parking lot bandits and abrupt lane changers who feel signalling isn’t necessary. Call of the wild: “Argh! Would you look at this guy? He’s taking up two spots. Two spots! Now I’m going to have to park way the hell on the other side of the lot because he felt the need to straddle the line.” - The Fast and the Furious (20 percent)
Habitat: Club district, 2 a.m. Prey: Anyone who gets in their way. Call of the wild: A driver of few words, audibly recognizable by heavy techno beats and the “Vroom!” of their suped-up engine as they speed by. - The Better Safe Than Sorrys (18 percent)
Habitat: Stopped at a yellow light while driving the kids to school. Prey: Highway multi-taskers: Cellphone in one hand, bagel in the other, steering with their knees, speeding. Call of the wild: “See, kids, the traffic light ahead is yellow. That means stop.” - The Indifferents (18 percent)
Habitat: Stuck in stop-and-go commuter traffic. Prey: None. Call of the wild: “And I’m freeeeeee, free falling! Yeah I’m freeeeeee, free falling!”*
*Two in three Canadian drivers sing in the car. Of those, 73% are women, while 58% are men.
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