Q: Whenever we’ve had a bit of wine, our inhibitions fall away, and we have great sex. How can we be just as playful in bed while sober?
I won’t deny that inebriation seems to loosen up a few things. But there are plenty of people who have great sex without the assistance of substances, and most of those people are brilliantly confident. So, throw on some sexy music, bust out the lube and just pretend that you’re tipsy.

Q: I’m interested in sex toys, but how crazy do I need to get when shopping?
You don’t have to get any crazier than you want to. And the bells and whistles are sometimes just distractions. Don’t invest too much money in some kind of crazy contraption that you won’t even like—just start simple with something like an egg-style vibrator or one of the famed rabbit-type dildos and play around. It’s fun.

Q: I hate giving blow jobs—like, really hate it. But my husband loves receiving them. What do I do?
Well, snaps to you for not giving up completely. The fact that you’re looking for a solution is much nicer than denying him his B.J.s outright. If you don’t like ’em, the only thing you can do is try to focus on the pleasure you’re giving him and hope he’ll return the favour. If you really can’t swallow the idea (pun entirely intended), talk to your partner about alternatives that could be just as pleasant for him and more enjoyable for you—like hand jobs and cleavage sex, for example.

Q: I always have to initiate sex/intimacy with my partner, but she’s always into it once things start up. What’s up with that?
Without sitting and observing your foreplay, it’s hard for me to say. (And no, I don’t provide that service.) Could be she’s shy, could be she’s insecure, could be she’s scared, could be she’s coy, could be she just likes to be pursued. If it’s not bothering you too much, then just go with it. If it is, try to get to the bottom of the problem. Maybe it’s just that she needs a bit of confidence.

Q: I hate it when, before sex, my guy says, “I’m going to give you an orgasm.” It puts way too much pressure on me having one and having to fake it instead. How do I get him to back off?
Tell him. But tell him when your clothes are on and the lights are on, and not when you’re about to have sex, and not when you are basking in the afterglow. Don’t accuse him of doing anything wrong, but explain to him how it makes you feel. We live in an orgasm-obsessed world and we would do well to remember that an orgasm is not the be-all and end-all of sexual activity.

Email your sex-related questions to Hailey at advice@2magazine.com